I hate being where I am in life. This fucking sucks. She could have gave me some mother fucking warning that she is getting fed up and thinking about ending it. All I want is one more chance. I want to live in the same house with my children and wife. I tried as hard as I fucking could. I have some things about me that I don’t even like, but I’m trying like hell to not say stupid and hateful shit. Hell, I don’t even think like that anymore. I have actually grown, mentally. God, I would give my balls for one more chance with the only woman I ever really loved. This fucking hurts so bad. How can you not hate yourself for breaking the trust of the only person that means everything to you? And I’m never going to get her back. Fuck. I just want my kids, wife, heart, and life back.